So I’m wandering down an empty lane thinking about how I’ve gotten myself into a place where time has me by the short hairs when I glance up and suddenly burst out laughing, quite alone and suddenly quite relaxed to spot my feelings so blatantly displayed for all to see. How likely is it that someone would have taped up this clock and dropped it onto my path on the very day I’m feeling overloaded? Strapped for time, that’s me, and a big thank you to the universe for letting me laugh it out in a big way.
I’m not sure about the nature of time. I know we all want more of it, but we’re quick to specify that we want *this* kind of time and not *that* kind of time. More time with those we love, and less time paying bills. More time to learn and create, and less time studying for finals. More time to savor a good meal and less time standing in supermarket lines. Of course there are a few enlightened souls among us who can make the most of the lines and the numbers and the tests and find joy there, but mostly we tend to bargain with time — this for that — rather than changing the way we experience it.
Like most, I experience change and attribute many of those changes to the passage of time. But how often have we said “it’s as if time stood still?” So change isn’t dependent on time, and time doesn’t always equal change. If I allot eight hours and fifteen minutes to a flight, I can walk the streets of Paris instead of Charlotte’s, but can I not *feel* Paris in an instant on any day of any year? And I can guarantee you that I’m able to dedicate eight hours to writing a proposal and get absolutely nothing of value accomplished. So honestly, the concept of time is pretty wishy washy, and how can I hold myself so accountable to wishy washy?
Let’s say I have ten great years left, and fifteen good ones, and five glad-to-be-here years. As a girl, my dad was really big on the Ten Year Plan, and he was always asking us about ours. At 25, I figured I was young enough to feel my way through it. At 60, planning my next Ten Fabulous Years has become high priority. Fortunately I’ve learned along the way that life can be pretty much exactly what you make it, and I love that daily creation.
Except for the unexpected. Never discount the unexpected. After 50, always eat dessert first. Don’t put aside your hopes and dreams.
So I’m going to look at this giant banded clock another way. Instead of Time wrapping her arms tight around me and demanding a response, I think I’ll tie these big blue bands around *her* for a week and breathe, dream, plan, and grab my joy. Sometimes You Gotta.
Pam Goode Writes 
What a treat! Just turning in to bed and happened upon your latest post. Always a delight.
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Thank you Carolyn! Looking forward to reading about your CR adventures!
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Fine musings, fine musings indeed. Time is fleeting and endless, it’s a finite measure of our existence and yet eternal. I used to think I would like to live to be 125 — just a random number I chose. Now I don’t think that I could possibly stand to live that long and tolerate the aches and pains which greet me each morning and intensify with age! The timetable that you propose is much more realistic — I hope it works out as you have planned, with the possible exception of those five “glad to be here” years sneaking into the “great” category.
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If anyone should live to be 125, it’s you, and I think you’ll still be rocking it. Outside of the heavy farm labor, you have the right life for it too — loving family both intimate and extended, a charming community, healthy lifestyle and loving mindset. And lots of apples. My random number is 94.
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Your post is so “timely”! experiencing the same thing. Wonderful writing and a joy to read. Thank you.
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Thank you I’m so glad you enjoyed it! We all need that push now and then.
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A beautiful and poignant post! Got to get onto my 10 Year Plan!
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Oh Jane, you’re living yours beautifully!
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I’m a little busy, but 🙂 I love those days when time is lost, and they are rare. I wonder whether I would really be happy with those days more often. Chill-it-baby and enjoy every single moment.
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It takes me more time than seems healthy to relax in my own environment — always behind on so many things. But get me into the new and it’s like I’ve been given a new life and so many new chances. Not that I need a new life, but release from the To Do list is heaven.
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Well said! The strapped clock showed up just when you needed it….
On Wed, Apr 20, 2016 at 1:46 PM, What Are You Waiting For? wrote:
> Pamela Goode posted: “So I’m wandering down an empty lane thinking about > how I’ve gotten myself into a place where time has me by the short hairs > when I glance up and suddenly burst out laughing, quite alone and suddenly > quite relaxed to spot my feelings so blatantly displayed” >
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I laughed out loud!
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