There is a Hell, and it’s Pink. ish.

Okay so I’ve never really been into makeup, and for decades I’ve resented the entire 3 minutes I waste on it every morning. Well sometimes I skip. But I wear it because one of my first boyfriends, who had been dating someone else for a while when I first asked him out, but she went to another school so I didn’t really know that, said to me one night a little quizzically, “(we’ll call her Betsy) Betsy always wears a little makeup and eyeshadow when we go out. It makes me feel like she cares enough to make some effort.”

I looked at him quizzically — it was the 70’s and no one wore makeup because we were FREE SPIRITS — but he was a good guy and it was a small concession, and I’ve been doing it ever since. But not in an “ooh let’s check out the latest at Sephora!” kinda way. But there it was.

So I get that the world is focused now on the newest whatever, and I know this because every time I try to buy toothpaste at Target they’ve restocked the shelves with 15 new and improved styles of Crest and omg it takes me 15 minutes to find the most old school brand closest to the now-discontinued tube I bought last month and throw it in my cart. Sigh.

So about a month ago, I ran out of the lipstick I’ve worn for the past six years or so. I like the color, the tube, and the pure joy of being able to replenish the supply by just recognizing and grabbing 3 tubes at a time. And of course it’s been discontinued and even the tube style it came in no longer exists, which means I have to make a new selection on multiple levels, and I’m dreading it so much that I don’t walk through those doors until weeks have passed. It takes me 45 minutes of searching every nook and cranny of Ulta to accept the fact that I’ll have to pick something new, and another 30 minutes to find something similar enough to live with and calm my daily grousing, but it’s a matte, and … sigh.

What’s up with matte? I don’t care, but why??? Sigh. I take it home and dutifully apply it this morning and OMG the texture is heaven! It’s like the powder dusting fairy came down from the heavens and touched me ever so lightly on the lips and said, “Hey girl. You’ve been good. I’m gonna give you a break.” My eyes lit up and I almost broke into a smile when … I smelled a smell. I hoped someone had snuck up behind me with a bottle of tween girl perfume, but if only. No. It’s the f-ing d lipstick. My lips are so happy, and my nose wants to cough up a hairball and die. Yeah I don’t do scents either. Especially not scents clearly developed for the 6 year old scent palate.

WHY WHY WHY is there a scent in my lipstick???? There isn’t even an image of My Little Pony on the front, any mention whatsoever of a scent, and no purple baggie of gummy bears attached.

Seriously, this is just another way they kill off the old people.

Oh No!

9 thoughts on “There is a Hell, and it’s Pink. ish.

  1. We all make mistakes, and most live to regret them; if we are lucky we also learn to avoid them in the future. Forgive me for judging for I don’t know the man, but that guy, Betsy’s ex, might not have meant to be a egotistical ass, but by his inference as you describe it, he seems to have nailed it regardless. Suggesting that someone doll themselves up to prove they are worthy seems awfully pretentious. Most guys I knew, including myself, would have been pleased and relieved to have simply been asked out by a girl; how awkward and challenging the dating ritual was! Had she also possessed qualities of physical, intellectual, and spiritual beauty, we would have shouted “Eureka! We’ve struck it rich”, and been happy to leave it at that! For his sake, in his later years, I hope he learned to consider his thoughts before airing them. As for you and your quest at hand, good luck finding a replacement lipstick that suits you.

    Regarding your tale of woe, I loved your premise of Hell and can relate. For me, this frustration stems from the fact that so often I am disappointed to find that nothing can be fixed anymore. That is, except through some sort of creative or convoluted Sherlock Holmesian detective work or by wasting the better part of a weekend trying to fabricate some minuscule part, whose functional life has been spent, and thus has turned a useful tool into a museum piece. And reluctant to throw these implements out, they sit in cardboard boxes in various states of disassembly in multiple locations scattered throughout the house, barn, and outbuildings, all awaiting the slim chance that someday I will stumble upon a hidden cache of obsolete components which will miraculously allow me to restore them to working order. Although it is very likely that a few of these items will eventually return to service, and some have actually done just that, the majority of them are probably destined to gather dust and lie useless and forgotten until I pass. And at that point in time, the task will fall upon my daughter to determine the final resting place for these treasures of mine. And despite the fact that I cannot find the power to toss them into the dumpster myself, I certainly expect that the bulk of these items will end up there and, you know what? I’m okay with that.

    • I know exactly what you mean! Though I don’t tool around much, I have a treasured stash of tools belonging to my dad and my grandfather. So beautiful, so functional, and everything works perfectly. I also have a stash of junk — mostly broken or misshapen — that I’ve picked up during my walks. That gets saved for funky art projects with the grandkids. What a world of difference, and how mistakenly we tend to view the concepts of new and old.

  2. I’m with you! Thanks for reminding me that I’d better buy a bunch of my favorite Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm (the only “lipstick” I wear, no scent 😊) before they discontinue it!

  3. Sooooo enjoyed that!!! And now you can smell your lipstick!!! Boom!!

    On Fri, Jul 17, 2020 at 4:59 PM Pam Goode Writes wrote:

    > Pam Goode posted: “Okay so I’ve never really been into makeup, and for > decades I’ve resented the entire 3 minutes I waste on it every morning. > Well sometimes I skip. But I wear it because one of my first boyfriends, > who had been dating someone else for a while when I first ” >

  4. Also,a minimal makeup gal, but do like my go-to low-cost lip thing, now disappearing from my supermarket/pharmacy shelves. Not an Ulta gal, as I find it overwhelming. Not related, but exited for your book and also glad that I am now receiving other musings from you via Bloglovin’.

  5. I’ve learned to adapt to change, though in my heart I still resist it. But when my second was born and I was trying to change jobs and it was Christmas holidays and the shaver I’d had for 20 years and was long ago discontinued broke, I just about had a breakdown. The things I like should be available forever. I’ve often gone to eBay or other sites to replace vintage items I don’t think I can live without. Thankfully they don’t put a scent in men’s shavers.

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