To add that extra touch of French I might call it Eau de Pam. Or in English: Pam Water? Hmmmmm.

Honestly, I have no idea what it means. I assume it involves some pipe, a tight-fitting lid that can perhaps be opened with some sort of tool for repairs, France, and my name.

PAM: French abbreviation meaning: “pression artérielle moyenne. Programme alimentaire mondial.” Google Translate delivers an English version reading “Mean blood pressure; World Food Program.”

Okay that didn’t help.

Next try: “PAM stands for Parti Authenticité et Modernité, translated from French as “Authenticity and Modernity Party; Political Party; Morocco.” … … … Morocco?

And then of course we have these:

PAM is an acronym for: Pacific Armies Management, Pacific Aviation Museum (Honolulu, HI), Packetized Audio Mixer, Page Allocation Map (CICS), Pain Awareness Month, Pamir (linguistics), Pamphlet, Pan African Mining (various locations), Pan African Movement (conference), Parque de Atracciones de Madrid (amusement park), Partitioning Around Medoids (statistics), Partner Account Manager (sales), Pass Along Message, Passband Amplitude Modulation, Passport to Advanced Math (education), Password Authentication Module, Patent Application Management, Patient Access Manager (various businesses), Patient Assessment and Management (optometry examination), Payload Accommodation Manager

Sigh.

TheBump.com tells me that the name Pamela was invented by 16th-century English poet Sir Philip Sidney for his epic romance, The Countess of Pembroke’s Arcadia. Samuel Richardson’s novel Pamela was similarly inspired by the Greek term pán meli, meaning “all honey” and “all sweetness.” Ha. Fail.

So with absolutely nothing to go on other than two words pressed onto some sort of drain (I think), I can only assume that Pam Water translates to … City Water? Potable Water? Non-Potable Water? And most importantly, if there’s a water shortage or a water frenzy, can you drink out of it ??? ??? ???. I just don’t know ….

In the meantime, I’ve assembled a few possibilities around the mysteries of Pams, PAMs, päms, and paTs.

Etymology 1:
Probably short for the French Pamphile (“a given name”), special use of man’s name.
Well then.

Etymology 2:
Probable alteration of panorama. Again, WTF?

Etymology 3:
Noun, Pam: U.S. Cooking Spray Seriously?????

Pam Meaning According to Dictionary.Com
The Jack of Clubs (I give up)

French Meaning:
Common Noun – A noun that does not name a specific person, place or thing. … Hello??? Hello???

And THIS is why I studied English Lit instead of Parisian Water Supply.