“It’s not bad — we think you’ll be fine” and suddenly the words leap from “We’re just not sure why this isn’t working” to “I’m so very sorry, but this is all we can do,” and before we knew it, she was gone.
Today is the day my Mom died. It was 5:30, March 30th, 2006.
I remember every moment of that day, as do my sister and brother. Still. And Forever.
Death is so surreal — and often, so unexpected. Even when you know it’s coming, it jumps at you like a growling hyena, and you wonder if you’ll every understand.
If you’ll ever get past it.
My mother’s death was one of those “wait, WHAT HAPPENED??? sequences that spilled suddenly from “It’s not bad — we think you’ll be fine”, then morphed strangely to “Unfortunately we’re just not sure why this isn’t working” to tears and more tears right up to “I’m so very sorry, but this is all we can do.”
We stayed with her night and day, and still before we knew it, she was gone.
Mom was one of those women who could (and would) do everything. She loved us, fed us, had a fabulously and almost childish laugh, danced, taught us how to sew and create and curtsy, get along with Dad, AND be a bad ass??????
My sister, who gardens like a similar first-class badass in addition to raising sheep (LOTS of them) and growing food for the family, pretty much took on Mom’s role and keeps us together.
Three children — each forging their own path and as different as night and day. It didn’t matter a wink how different we were (and still are). I’m so deeply grateful that we’re all still together and helping each other along the path. Life isn’t always easy, and that’s an understatement, but we love each other.
Thank You Mom
Love Always
Pam Goode Writes 
Powerful and beautiful tribute, Pam. 🙏🏽
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Thank you so much Edward!
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You’re very welcome, Pam.
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Dear Pam,
Our heartfelt condolences go out to you during this difficult time. We also extend our deepest sympathies to all the family and friends who loved your dear mother. Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.😌🙌
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We never forget do we Pam? I understand the emotional absence of our parents. There are so many things I wish I could share with them today. Our conversations would certainly be different than when they left us. Thanks for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. 🥰🙏🏼😘
You got that right Kym! Thank you so much for your thoughts.
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I share your feelings as I have recently lost my mother too, whom I loved so dearly.
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I’m so very sorry to hear this. I know it’s difficult, and pretty much for the rest of our lives. I still think of my parents daily.
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I’m so very sorry to hear this. I know it’s difficult, and pretty much for the rest of our lives. I still think of my parents daily.
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My mother died on March 26, 1999 and that pain remained fresh for decades, now it’s there but more in the background, bye Pam
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Thank you. Life goes on but we never stop missing those we love.
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So timely and poignant as I am currently planning my mother’s memorial for the latter part of May. Seems that, like yours, mine was never afraid to speak her mind, forge her own path, and battle against convention for what she knew was right. Having known you for almost fifty years, it is nice to now know from whence, at least some of your spirit was born. Raising a daughter has been a blessing I never expected, and yet, I am proud to say that she is every bit as independent, adventurous, and motivated as my mother. Many times, we take our mothers for granted, but oh how we grieve and miss them when they are gone. You have blazed your own trail, and surely your mom would have been proud as well.
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Thank you Eliot — We were deeply blessed, weren’t we?
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